In light of our third anniversary, I thought I’d write up a post on the most important things I’ve learned in the first few years of being in a serious relationship.
As I got older and more experienced in the dating world, I began to realize what is and isn’t important to me, and more importantly, what does and doesn’t work. I knew exactly what I wanted when Bryn and I started dating and he checked every single one of the boxes, and more, within the the first couple of weeks. It was only one month and I knew he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with(sorry, but this article is going to be filled with corny stuff like this).
This is not to say we didn’t have to work at it, because anything worth it takes some work (See, told you. Corny.) but things were never hard. We always wanted to make sure the relationship was smooth and enjoyable for both of us.
So if you’re curious about what I think the keys to a successful relationship are, then keep on reading!
Nobody is perfect, even you.
I have to remind myself of this one a lot. There will always be something that bothers you about the other person. The trick is finding the person whose little things you can live with. It’s also important to remember that for every little thing that bothers you, there is definitely a little thing that you do that bothers them!
Pick your battles.
This one goes hand in hand with the previous point. You have to pick your battles in a relationship. Nobody feels good being told they’re doing things wrong all the time. If the little things are small enough that you’ve decided you can live with them, they are probably not battles worth picking. Don’t sweat the small stuff!
Always say good morning and goodnight.
It can be easy to fall into a routine and forget about the small things which make big impacts. Something as simple as saying good morning and goodnight reminds the other person that you’re thinking of them, even if the days are busy. I am always making sure this happens in our house. In fact, if it doesn’t, you best believe I will be bringing it up more than once to make sure everything is okay!
Sometimes going to bed angry is a good thing.
I used to be a firm believer in the saying “never go to bed angry”. Then I started to realize that sometimes a night to cool off is a good thing. Not all problems or discussions can be solved within a couple of hours and some time to clear your head and let go of the initial emotions (remember when I learned that things can feel worse in the moment here?) can be beneficial for both sides to get a better understanding of the situation. You’d be surprised at how much your opinion can change in 12 hours. Take a break, and come back to it when everyone has cooled off.
Remember, you’re on the same team.
You and your partner are just that: partners. It can be easy to forget sometimes that you are both working towards the same goal. You have the same intentions and even though you may disagree, you ultimately have each other’s best interests at heart.
Make time for each other.
I saved this one for last because although it may seem like the most obvious, it can be the easiest to forget. When you start getting into a routine and the days get busy, one-on-one time can fall to the back burner. Trust me, I know. After having a baby, the last thing on our priority list was our time together. But you need to find even a couple minutes a day where you can be fully present and just be with each other. It could be as simple as asking about each others day. This can go a long way in staying connected.
I am a true believer that everyone has a soul mate. A person (Grey’s Anatomy, anyone?). I’m also a believer in when you find them, you’ll just know.
I wake up every morning feeling incredibly grateful to have found my person. Someone who will unconditionally love me and support me in all of my crazy ideas. Someone who is the perfect balance to me. The most caring father, who puts all of his time and effort into building the best life for our family.
Bryn, I am so incredibly lucky to have you.
Talk soon xoxo